3 Keys to success

The 3 keys to success are all intertwined. To succeed you need to possess all three, albeit in varying degrees. However the greatest thing about the three keys is that you can develop them all.

The formula is simple but the application takes time / practice. But that is all it takes. Each aspect of this formula is “develop-mental”

1. Self praise or no praise!

Self belief is the key to a happy life. If you believe in yourself you can be, do or have any thing in the world.

If you rely on other people to give you compliments or make you feel good, you will never feel good about yourself. Because it is contingent on how the other person feels at that particular time. You could present a project at work expecting rave reviews and relying on praise for your effort, but your boss grumpy and under pressure rains on your parade. You’re devastated, dispirited and de-motivated. But all this negative emotion stems from his bad mood, which could have resulted from an inconsequential spat with his partner on the phone. You have been crushed because of a fleeting mood swing and don’t ever want to put as much effort in again.

What if you didn’t rely on other people to make you feel good about yourself? What if you evaluated your performance by comparison with previous efforts, then you would know you have improved and done a good job? What if you realised that maybe tomorrow would be better time to approach him? This is self belief at work. You know it’s good and that he is just in a bad mood. This, to me, is one of the most important sayings there is. “Self praise or no praise” if you say to your self every time you do some thing well, I’m proud of my self, I did a good job. How much better will you feel? You will not rely on others for your well being ever again. Try it for a day!

2. If you don’t know where your going you won’t know when you get there.

Goals are fundamental to achievement and happiness. So many people are working hard and not feeling like anything good is happening in their lives. What has happened is they have stopped setting goals; they are caught in a rut. Goals are often simple things like getting to work on time and also big things like buying a house. There are two main types of goals ones that are pleasurable and one’s that are painful. This is called the pleasure pain principal. The ones that are painful happen to us whether we like it or not and we want to move away from them, such as paying bills, we just want to pay them and get rid of them. The goals that are pleasurable don’t just happen to us, we have to make them happen! With pleasurable goals we want to move towards them, such as a holiday. We want to think about them all the time. We want to tell our friends about them and they brighten up our lives. Either we are moving away from pain or towards pleasure. So this is why setting goals is so important, we have to set them to be happy and get what we want.

So how do you find out what you want? First of all you have to allow yourself to want. Think about everything you could possibly want without limits. Fantasise! Just get your creative juices flowing, have fun. All the negative stuff will happen automatically. Natural limits such as finance, talent and education, will always be there but they don’t have to limit the dream. Your job is to not to limit your thinking and focus on the good stuff.

I find that first thing in the morning, when I wake up, I dream about my business. What will it be like to be successful in my field? How will I grow as a person? What will I have to do to succeed and also I think about how I will feel at the end. Sometimes I go wild with my fantasies and dream about having parties on lovely white yachts in the Mediterranean. Then I think how I might achieve that. How would I have to grow to have that sort of lifestyle? Who would I have to speak to and what would I have to do? Have fun.

All our goals are different. Going to college, having more fun, going on adventures, playing sports, meeting more people, growing a business, getting a promotion. The important thing is not to limit yourself and have lots of fun.

Sometimes people have goals that are painful for a positive reason, such as losing weight. You have to go through pain to get to the good feeling. The best way to achieve these goals is to focus on the good feeling at the end, not the work you have to do to achieve it. Think about how you will feel, how proud you will be for losing that weight, and how energetic you will be.

In setting a goal you automatically think: how can I make this happen? Why I can and why I can’t achieve or have this. If you are running up against “I can’t” a lot, ask what if I had what it took to get this and start the fantasy all over again. This is a really important question to ask yourself. “What if” I did, “what if” I had or “what if” I could. This will turn your I can’t into I can.

“If you don’t know where you’re going you won’t know when you get there” basically means set your goals, work towards achieving them and be in control of your life and happiness.

3. The harder I worked the luckier I got.
Personally I believe there is no such thing as luck, only chance. Luck implies that something magical is going on, some people are destined and some people are not. Luck can be defined as the collision between preparation and opportunity/chance. The more prepared you are for your exam (study) the higher the chance (luck) you will succeed in getting a good result. The more prepared you are to succeed the more chances you will get / the luckier you will be. If you look at all the successful people in the world they will all say something like this, it took me years of practice to have this overnight success. So what does that mean to you? Well what do you want to be lucky in, work, money, love? Ask yourself how can I prepare more, what can I do to make myself more lucky and how can I increase my chances of succeeding.

These keys to success are tools for life. We can be the people we want to be (self belief). We can do the things we want to do and achieve our goals. All it takes is preparation, so start now and increase your chances of being “lucky”. Ask yourself what do I want, how do I have to grow to get the things I want and what do I have to do to get them? If you can answer these questions you are already on your way to being a success.

Passion eh what?

I had always heard Steve Jobs and Richard Branson say these words “just follow your passion”. I just couldn’t relate, I hadn’t got a clue what my passion was, I don’t have a clue what I’m going to do with my life. I would love to change the world but how? If i don’t understand my passion or my purpose?

I was thinking last week that skateboarders and surfers have there passion, that race car drivers have there passion. They are not so different to me. They are just people. Then I figured it out, there word for passion is fun. They just do what is fun, Steve Jobs just loved what he was doing Richard Branson just loves what he is doing. These guys are having fun every day. They have fun with what they are doing. There passion is just having fun each day.

I figured out how to find my passion and hopefully as a result what my purpose is. If I just focus on what I enjoy as long as it’s good for my health wealth the people around me and of course the environment, I will be leading a passionate purposeful life.

The lesson for me is to identify what is most fun in my life and work towards that, then I can identify what is most fun out of that and work towards that and so on and so on. I don’t need to know what my passion is to change the world, I don’t need to know my purpose, I just have to follow what is most fun to me and do it to the best of my abilities. This in turn will lead me down a road that when I look back I will be able to see what my passion and purpose is.

As all the greats say. I didn’t know I was going to end up here, I couldn’t have dreamt up the life I have led, I just followed my passion and look what happened.

So my question to you is how are you going to have fun today.

I am going to start enjoying all our project work and seeing how much fun I can have each day and who knows where it will lead. I sure don’t know where that will lead and I think that is going to be half of the fun.

This post is one of my first steps on a road to a destination that I have no idea where it will lead. So please excuse the bad grammar and not so fluid writing style but this is one of my first steps on a road to a lot more fun.

Life is a game. Fact!

I’ve come to realise that life is a game, a game to see if I can do it.

If you don’t roll the dice and play, you stay in the one spot while the rest of the players pass you by.

The really important thing about any game is that they are enjoyable throughout. Win or lose you have had a whopper time.

I’ve come to realise that while playing life you’re supposed to have fun. Not waiting until you win or lose, but now. So it is every minute of every day that we have to play the game. Why am I doing this? Is it to improve myself or the world around me? Is it to see if I can just for the fun of it. Or are you doing it just to exist until your next pay check?

We can look at anything and say that’s too hard, I won’t bother trying. Or we can say I’ll give it a go. That is your choice to make. But one thing is for certain, weather it is too hard or not, I am choosing to enjoy the process, I’m going to have fun trying.

My first challenge is that I have been very much a thinker not a doer, because I never enjoyed the process. Be that because of bad experiences in school or whatever.

Now I am going to have fun doing. I am choosing to enjoy everything that comes my way because that is how you win the game.

Figuring it out.

This Blog is like my life. I’ve been struggling with the concept for a long time now.

The context is there but how to put it into words? This is the hard part. I know one thing; I’m working towards living an epic life. I want to do it all! I’ve had a pretty mental adventure so far but I really don’t want to die with any regrets.

I sort of see this blog in two lights. A way to live an epic adventure and hopefully a way of helping others to do the same. If I can do it so can you sort of thing.

I hope through the lessons I learn and through the adventures I live. I’ll hopefully share my enthusiasm and struggles with life and maybe we will meet doing something crazy but worthwhile down the line.

Rock on!!!

How Average, But Great We Are

I got a complement a year or so ago. My friend said that I was really smart. I said thank you, but her inference was that I was smart and that she wasn’t. This didn’t sit well with me at all. As I was thinking about it, I knew she knew stuff I didn’t know. I realised that I know nothing about sports, that in fact she knows awful lot more than me about sports. Therefore she is smarter than me, in the sports realm. I realised that the reason she thought I seemed smarter than her was because I knew something she didn’t know and because the stuff I knew wasn’t common knowledge she valued it more, whereas, she didn’t value her own knowledge, because it was more common knowledge.

I started to think back to my child hood and think, how does she know so much about football and I don’t. I searched in my brain for a long time and came to realise that I had an experience when I was a kid. My dad gave out to me for sucking my thumb whilst playing a football match. Whatever happened to me in my mind, I made a strong negative association with football as a kid. So I never went near the sport again. As a result I missed out on all the bonding experiences around football that goes on between a dad and a son. I never got a thrill from sports, I never watched them on TV and so I never got an education in sports. Instead I watched documentaries, which was as a result of my dad as well.

What had happened was, when I watched TV I watched documentaries, whereas she spent her time watching sports. With this realisation I concluded that we had probably put the same amount of hours in watching TV growing up, but we were studying different things.

So in the grand scheme of things we spent the same amount of time studying. She knew more than me and I knew more than her, in certain subjects. The opposite was true also, I knew less than her and she knew less than me, in certain subjects. So on average we where both the same, we knew and didn’t know equal amounts. We were average.

So why am I writing this post you say. Who cares about average people or people realising they are average. I came to understand this on a grander scale. We are all average everybody on the planet nobody is better or worse than anyone else, on a global scale. We all know equal amounts of stuff, but in different fields. This also applies in skills, someone might be good at wood work and someone else at tennis, but they might be rubbish at something else. I’m crap at tennis, but on average we are equal.

This realisation really gave me a boost confidence wise. I stopped comparing myself to others. I started to realise no one on this planet is great at everything. They are only good at what they are good at and crap at what they are crap at. I started to stop comparing myself to others and focused on my own skills. How can I be the best me I can be.
This big long stream of thoughts led me to this conclusion. The people who are the best at what they do, don’t compare themselves to others, the compare themselves to themselves. They ask themselves the question over and over, how can I be a little bit better today than I was yesterday. This brought to mind Steve Jobs motto of passion for excellence. He is not striving to be better than you he is striving to be better than himself. This was a huge realisation for me.

Are you starting to feel average? (What a crap sales pitch). Are you starting to realise that you are bad at some stuff and good at other stuff. Maybe people compare themselves to you?
That whole stream of thought was the big picture. Everybody is equally good as well as bad and the great only focus on how they can improve in themselves.

Now the smaller picture.

What all that actually means for me is, I have to forget all the stuff I’m not good at and focus on the stuff I’m good at. It means stop comparing myself to others and start comparing myself to myself. Challenge myself and enjoy it. This is how life works.

Our course (Webelevate) is a perfect example of this theory at work. Out of an average group of 400 people, we came in and all were evaluated equally, by the tutors and the college. We got chosen because we where the best and the college has forgotten the rest of the people. They are only focusing on the best and working on improving it. The college isn’t hanging on to the two hundred and forty other applicants and letting them bring us down. So just like the college we have to focus on what we are best at and work to improve it.

If you do the maths 400 people applied, 160 got places, but then we chose the stream we are in (and the college agreed) about 60 people on average is in each stream. So out of the 400 people we are broken down into the stream that we are best at which works out that we are in the top 15% of all the applicants who applied. When have you ever been in the top 20% of anything? I know I never have. This is before we have started studying we are already the best of the best. So then each class get broken down further into what we are best at.

I hope my lessons have helped you feel better about yourself I hope you feel proud to be average in the grand scheme of things and also feel great to be the best at what you do.

I feel grateful to the college and the tutors for choosing me to be part of such a dynamic course and giving me the chance to work with some of the best. I feel grateful to all the staff in the college for giving us one of the biggest complements of our lives.

This post is one of my first steps on the road to being the best me I can be.