I feel there is a misconception in the investing world that there are winners and losers, but this goes further than just investing it goes into life!
If some one is winning some one is losing, but I just can’t see that.
If I buy one stock off one person, who is happy to sell it to me and I sel
l it to someone else who is happy to buy it off me, I am being of service, I am not winning or losing. I am just making decisions that work for me.
I am not responsible for other people and their decisions, if they are not happy with it after they buy it off me, that is their decision, but again I haven’t competed with any one, it is a free market. They could of bought it off millions of other people, at millions of other times. So, at that very moment he was happy I am not pulling one over on any one. If some one buys great if not I’m left with my decisions.
Do people lose in the stock market yes 100% they do, but am I in their race? No not at all!!! I am in my own race!!
To explain this further. If I was to come second or even come last in a race with Usain Bolt would I be a winner or loser. Well to me I’d be winning I’d be just happy to get that experience. So, in my world I would be a winner! Or in other words happy!
So, who are we competing with? actually no one. We create a story in our mind that there is a competition because people win and lose in their race, but we are not in their race.
So, what is the competition? or is there one at all? Well I want to improve every day that is the only challenge I have. So, I am only really racing against myself.
So, what does these concepts of winning and losing do for us? what would happen if we dropped the idea of competition altogether and started looking at what is really there. Let’s drop the lenses of winning and losing.
If I make a trade and it does not do what I want it to do, have I lost? Am I a loser? I know if I learn a valuable lesson I become wiser and I’m more able to make better decisions the next time. Do i like it? no, but i am not a loser!
So, do I win by learning? or do I win by my trades making me money? I don’t win anything either way there is nothing to win there are only lessons.
Now what does the stock market look like to you?
The way I look at things now is, how can I grow? Winning comes from insecurity wanting to be better than someone and losing is the same. But who cares? no one else does.
My goal is to become more and more effective. I know if I constantly aim to be more effective I’ll be looking at the market for what it is! an opportunity to grow, mentally, emotionally and financially. If it goes up I win, if it goes down I win, I’m always winning, because my goal has nothing to do with any one else and is focused on what is going to get me the results I want in the long term.
Pain and pleasure are real, winning and losing are not. Yes, I feel pain when I don’t have a great trad but how I make that feel better is by learning. But if I believe in winning and losing trades, I’ll feel like a loser and not learn, that will only go into developing some sort of self-image as a trader.
So, by setting our focus on what is effective, we see the world through a completely different lenses, one that works and empowers us!
Where else in life is this relevant to you?